Dead end.

There are some moments in your life when you are in a dead end.

Now I am living a difficult situation because for the first time in my life I am not sure about how much money I will earn this year o how long I can pay my mortgage, taxes etc...moreover I am looking after my parents and this point is very stressful for me because I can see the human´s deterioration.

I remember when 6 years ago I decided change my life and I began to study again looking for a new life. During the first years I have been lucky because I have combined my work with my studies but now this situation is unthinkable. The next step in my change of life perhaps is the most expensive and the hardest; the national exams for teaching are almost an impossible mission, only four hundred jobs for more than five thousand people and even if you study eight hours per day you couldn´t get a job.

I feel like a mouse in a maze looking for an exit or like a sailor in a deserted island...most part of the time I feel sad and tired and I believe I won´t have energy for dealing with my future with honour and valour. I have observed other people during all my life and I envy them because apparently they forget their problems and enjoy the life without thinking in money, death or dignity. They don´t see the dead ends in their life and they don´t feel anxiety about the future.

I suppose that it is my payment for my mistakes in my past, I have found my way too late....